we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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