Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
