return my video game
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
