38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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