im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
