I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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