Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
