I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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