Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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