He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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