Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
