This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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