What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She even gives head with a lisp.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
