it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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