He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
