What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
