i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
