Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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