I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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