I'm gonna have a badass scar
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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