Sponge bath it is.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I could fuck to npr.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize