What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize