Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
