She said her name was "party"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
