Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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