Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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