I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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