thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
