but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
