you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
