Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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