i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
