I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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