Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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