its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
