? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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