Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
