is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
