kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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