We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
