After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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