omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
