How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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