Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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