420 ftw
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
