and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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