Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
