I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
