he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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