dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
