the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
