We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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