I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
