another moral hangover. fuck.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
