ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
