just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize