the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
