so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
