Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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