I want to have your abortion
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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