Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
