Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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