He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
