Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
