Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
