I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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