i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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