im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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