I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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