mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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