I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
