VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
