I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
