I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
